Life of Matt

Rise of the Tablog

The scenario I mentioned above is a common one facing people who are thrust into a leadership role.  It goes deeper than the old saying “power corrupts”, rather, the power builds weakness in the one who wields it… unless you know what to watch out for, and stay vigilant to make sure you don’t fall into the same trap.

The problem that I fell into was this:

I relied on my position to force compliance, instead of using my relationship to inspire respect.

In doing so, I bred weakness within myself, coming to rely on an external position instead of my own internal strength and relationships.  By forcing people to follow, instead of being the type of person that they wanted to follow, I dramatically decreased my effectiveness as a leader.  There are several techniques you can use to keep your focus on the relationship, instead of on compliance.

2 Ways to Keep Focus on the Relationship

1. Don’t Take it Personally

Oftentimes, as a leader, we take dissent as an affront to our authority or character… we take it personally.  This can cause us to focus on “proving ourselves” or “putting them in their place”, which detracts from the relationship.  Instead, when you get dissent, dissassociate the dissenters behavior from yourself, and ask yourself why they’re feeling and acting the way they are.  From there, you can solve the problem in a way that will affirm the dissenter.

2. Remember the Emotional Bank Account

Sometimes, we rely on our position simply because it seems like too much work to reach out to a person, after all, it’s faster just to tell them what to do.  In situations like these, it can help to remember that every time you borrow power from your position, you’re making a withdrawal from the emotional bank account (Credit Stephen Covey).  It may be faster to do it that way, but do it consistently and one day you’re gonna get an overdraft charge, in the form of small or large acts of mutiny.

What Now?

Are you in a leadership position right now, formally or informally? Can you think of a recent situation where you borrowed power from your position instead of the relationship?  Make a commitment right now to use the techniques mentioned above to become a better leader, and start by apologizing for the mistake you made.  Be sure to let me know how it turns out in the comments!

Cheers,

Matt

A mission statement is a verbal expression of your innermost values.  It’s a living document that says THIS IS WHAT I AM, and reminds you of it, should you by chance forget…

What’s Your Mission Statement?

I am my own final authority. All my choices and actions are based on my own logic, instinct, and feelings.

I will continually challenge myself and expand my abilities to meet my challenges.

I will follow my dreams, I will take action on them, and I will do what it takes to see them through.

I will admire both excellence and courage, in myself and others.

I will strive to never lose my childlike wonder.

I will accept responsibility for myself and my actions. I will step up to meet challenges and do what is required.

I will take time to Enjoy life, appreciate the little things, and relax.

I will accept the present moment, when action is required, I will not question myself.

I will strive to be extraordinary, I will not settle for ordinary.

I will cultivate Joy, and spread it wherever I go.

I will look at myself as a role model, and accept that every action I take will have an impact on every person I meet.

I will accept others for who they are, I will recognize their core.

I will treat every action as an expression of my inner core.

When facing temptation, I will look to my values.

Why Create a Mission Statement?

It seems silly to verbalize your core into a written statement… after all, you can express your core better than any words can.  However, there are several benefits that come just from creating and writing a mission statement, and several more benefits that come from having a mission statement.

Benefits of Writing a Mission Statement

The great thing about writing a mission statement is that it provides you an opportunity to critically examine your innermost beliefs.  Are your emotions, thoughts, and conscience in sync?  Do you have any learned beliefs that are at odds with your deeper values and feelings?  Do you even know what your beliefs are?

The writing of the mission statement gives you a chance to examine all these questions,  and more.  It gives clarity to your direction and purpose in life, and congruency to your actions.

Benefits of Having a Mission Statement

The mission statement is an expression of your innermost values and desires.  When you’re at your highest state, you really don’t have to think about these values, they’re apparent in everything you do, they’re your default response.  However, the problem I have, and I think most people have, is that we’re not ALWAYS in our highest state.  We have bad days, we get inside our head, we act out inneffective scripts learned in our childhood, which aren’t congruent with our deepest values.

And often, because we’re coming from a lower place in ourselves,  we don’t even REALIZE that we’re doing anything wrong. We feel justified in yelling at loved ones, because at that moment we feel they deserve it.  We think it’s ok to procrastinate, because we worked really hard yesterday.  We think it’s ok to lie for our own gain, because in that moment it seems there’s no other option.  We rationalize, justify, and deceive ourselves into believing our own bullshit… we simply don’t have that higher frame of reference to see the truth.

But what if we had a stand-in for that higher frame of reference.  What if we had a set of rules that allowed us to ACT from that higher frame of reference, even if we weren’t currently seeing things from that perspective?  That’s what the mission statement does.  It’s a set of rule or guidelines for our actions, that allow us to approximate our actions and decisions when in that higher state. Furthermore, you’ll find that simply by acting in accordance with your highest values, even if initially in a lower state, you’ll be moved into that higher state.

How do I Write a Mission Statement?

Creating an initial rough draft of a mission statement can be completed in a matter of minutes, or may take several weeks to get to a satisfactory point… it all depends on how self aware you are.  The process of writing a mission statement is a process of self discovery, of expanding self awareness.  The first resource I’d recommend to aid you in this process is the free Covey Mission Statement Builder, it includes a number of questions and scenarios to creatively “jog your conscience”, getting to your deepest values by asking questions which force you to consider them.  It’s a great tool to come up with a very rough idea of where you’re headed with your mission statement.

Next, I’d recommend  take some aptitude and personality tests, to get a better idea of your natural strengths and weaknesses.  These include tests such as the Myer-Briggs Personality Test, the Strengthsfinder 2.0 Test, or the FIRO B Relational Assesment (free online test code available in This Book).  It can also be helpful to talk to friends and family about their assessment of your strengths and weaknesses… but don’t ask if you can’t take honest answers.

It may also be helpful to look at books centered around career placement or finding your purpose… I haven’t gotten a chance to look at any of these so I can’t make any recommendations (but let me know in the comments if you have any suggestions!).It can also help to take a look at your own choices and decisions, and ask yourself WHY you made these decisions.  Often deeper values can be at play.  Look especially at those decisions you made when you’re in that “highest state” mentioned earlier.

Note that your mission statement does not have to be constructed like mine is.  It can be a paragraph like this mission statement, a list of foundational values like Ben Franklin’s mission statement, a song or poem, or anything else.

The mission statement is not something that you ever finish writing.  It’s a constant process of finding better ways to express your values, as well as updating as you get more life experience and your values change.  It’s a living document that changes as you do.

What Now?

Creating a mission statement is one of the biggest things you can do to enhance your personal effectiveness on a macro level.  If you don’t have one, creating one should be among your top priorities.  I’ve given you the tools and know how to write one of your own, so go do it! Then, set a Daily Renewal Habit to read over it every morning

Once you’ve written it, go ahead and post it in the comments, I’ll be really interested to see what you guys (and gals) come up with.

Cheers,

Matt